I don’t know if it’s because I’m now 43 or simply because anyone who wanted to hit on me has already done so, but the ‘creepy fan mail’ by Indian men trying to score a date has thankfully decreased measurably since 2011. Before moving to India I had never received a Facebook invite from someone I didn’t know. Not once! And before moving to India I had never been emailed or messaged by men trying to hook up with me purely because I looked a certain way. Never once in all my years! So I was pretty happy that it seemed to have more or less stopped happening in my virtual online world.
Then came Sav S.
What amazes me most about these unwanted messages and mails is the variety in their strategy. Some guys are really honest and put it all out there right from the get go. Others try to ask questions and seek ‘advice’ as an opener or swear they just want to teach me about Indian culture (yeah, right!). Then there are guys like ‘Sav S’ who pretend they are a professional who wants to write for my website but in the end they turn out to be just a wolf in sheep’s clothing – and this one turned UGLY real quick!
Take a read below to see just how quickly he flipped! First he appreciates my blog, then he insults me with sexual innuendo, then he flips out a bit and tells me ‘I’m not his type anyway’ and that if I know of a hotter white or Latina woman that I should pass on the details to him!
So my question today goes to INDIAN WOMEN! Does this happen to you, too? I’d love to hear a few comments from you! 🙂
>> 1st Email from Sav S:
Hello, I’ve seen your website, its very interesting. I’d like to give some reviews and suggestions myself on some issues. Could you kindly get back to me as to how we could discuss further… Cheers, Sav
>> My Reply to the 1st Email:
hahahaha ummmmmmmmmmmmmm…. you should give more information on yourself. What magazines, newspapers and websites do you write for? What is your blog URL? What is your background, how jet-set is your lifestyle? Send the above please, thanks! -Angela
>> 2nd Email from Sav S:
😀 wow am liking the energy….I feel you …your quite proactive like me……darlin lemme talk to you on call, it would be much better to talk to you than type it to you…I’m an international athlete in Rowing. Won the gold, bronze and member of a few clubs around the country here and internationally…you could add me on skype {I DELETED SKYPE ID FOR PRIVACY) I would luv to talk to you for real..holla at me angela …ta
>> My Reply to 2nd Email:
Sorry, please send the requested info. Cheers!
>> 3rd Email from Sav S (included an MP3 of something – didn’t listen):
sure no probs…..are you always business oriented here in this side of the world?…I mean you look ravishing to me…i’d luv to go hands on on you haha…just kidding…..but I wouldn’t talk to you about business…i’d talk to you about what you like to do for fun and stuff…you know you remind me of cynthia nixon..matter fact I sent you a message on facebook, I think the message would have gone into your other folder..I’m an entrepreneur. We manufacture gymnasium equipments for the last 25 years. Family business, am 33 , Now my passion is music, so i’m releasing my debut single soon onto itunes…I’ve attached an mp3 for you, check it out 😉 and now your turn…what do you usually like to do during the weekends
>> My FINAL Reply:
Please don’t contact me again.
***Now, enjoy reading his downward spiral to coo coo >>
>>>‘Last Ditch Effort’ Email #1
why? …am sorry if its something I said, I don’t know why would you say that…was it something I said?
>>>>>‘Last Ditch Effort’ Email #2 (with another MP3 file)
come on give me a break, you spoke about dating issues on your blog…you could be a bit more open and lemme know that your not looking to date or whatever. I’d respect that and leave it. Instead you chose to say not to contact you again without saying anything…so I suppose your on a power trip wanting to do a put down..I guess it worked…wow…..but look I apologize if you was offended in any way…I just wanted a lil conversation with you, its all I was asking…..but thanks a lot…I feel great now after what you just replied….I shouldn’t be feeling like this…but no worries, I guess we are not meant to be..I move on. Bye.
>>>>>>>>‘Last Ditch Effort’ Email #3
o boy I wanted to let you know, I sent you the wrong mp3……I was to send you the cover version of barry white’s ‘your the one I need’ ….its a romantic song …but I realized I sent you ‘sexy and I know it’ lol you must be thinking I was trying to big up myself or you must have thought am self promoting…I wasn’t luv lol…I was trying to lead with the romantic foot and not really talk about business lol…if you could give me a chance…i’d it would be awesome…anyways I don’t think your interested…so i’m a move on..bye luv.
>>>>>>>>>>>‘Last Ditch Effort’ Email #4 – hopefully the last one I ever receive!
by the way, if you know any beautiful single white women, or if there is any dating site here to meet caucasian or latino women, please do let me know…your not my type anyway. I really don’t do short haired women with thin lips. I like my women to have pouting lips. Besides your eyes look leery..kinda creepy..it looks like you do the leer look. Also your too thin. I like big tits and big ass. So we are not a match anyway. so no point..but byee.
*****
Nice, right? Haha In the end this cyber Romeo wised up and decided that I was not his cup of tea with my leery eyes, thin lips and small boobs thank goodness!
As for me, I am just left wondering what the hell went through his mind that made it okay to 1) first lie to me and waste my time, and then 2) disrespect me with ‘just joking haha’ sexual advances as if I am an escort girl and not the CEO of Stratagem Labsand a successful blogger. What a jerk! Well, at least it was fun to see his downward spiral to coo coo unfold at the end. Maybe it will deter him in the future?!?!?
XOXO Angela
© 2013 Angela Carson and Angela’s Bangalore blog and photos
Angela, I think the guy read too much into your blogs about dating and other fun stuff and started to imagine you as a sex kitten or something 🙂 here in india women don’t express themselves as freely as women in west do and guys who are not used to it, take the fun stuff too seriously and start thinking with their long head too soon. In some cases its hard to blame them, as they have seen white women only in porn movies :), and they have only “that” picture in mind, which is not right, but still there is no excuse for obnoxious and insulting behavior or emails. Having said that, you are still pretty hot 😉
hahahhahaha that made me giggle, thanks for that 🙂 Yes, I know the ‘why’ behind WHY the initial thought is there but acting on it shouldn’t happen. It’s like knowing right from wrong and making a conscience effort to not break the law or be immoral. Indian men have seen enough of white women outside porn to know better. Thanks again for taking time to comment, cheers! Angela
lol India is full of such creepsters. They think women from west are easy to approach. Hopefully our society is changing slowly… but still a long way to go.
Yes I agree, I think its about time Indian men should get that porn picture out of their mind, its no longer a good enough excuse 🙂 We should find another one..:)
Hi Angela, I think Ajay and Arun are spot on. The only thing that explains this is that, this guy somehow imagined you to be some tomboyish white woman based on your blog entries. Having said that, i will try to answer your question whether does this happen to Indian women too. I know of a few cases, where a couple of my friends ( who happen to be women ) have had advances similar to what you described, made towards them, just because they happened to be outgoing and too friendly.
Well all i can say is that not all Indian men are alike, some are very creepy and this guy is obviously one of the creepier wolf types. Just use your instincts and body language to cull out types like these. Of course, if the contact was through email, it is easier to stop responding.
Btw , did you check my Bangalore bicycle blog.
Good luck. Cheers!.
Embarrassing. India has been and is delusionally isolated from the rest of the world. It is like walking into a tribe. Conversely, far reaching media lulls all of us into thinking that just because our bodies are similar and we wear similar clothes that the world is similar. You were very professional.
Hi,
Its called “insulting the woman trick to occupy the space in her head”. Its been used by pick-up guys all over the world!
http://www.tressugar.com/Insulting-Women-Pickup-Strategy-17250848
The vest example – Successfully used by Enrique Iglesis to get Anna Kournikova during their first shooting when he said that “i cannot shoot with her her pimples are too distracting”
Dont think too much into it!
I think his comments were inappropriate and disrespectful to you.We have a saying in Indian”You don’t call a spade a spade” opposite of the west, meaning you don’t speak rubbish, but good words only.I have been in Canada all my life, but speak Hindi fluently, just like people in India.I think the fact you did not give him “bhav”(attention), his ego was tarnished and he had tried to justify his actions. Angela, you are the best unconditionally.
I {heart} Canadian Indian love 🙂 hehe That was a very kind comment from you. And yes, I could see the desperation brewing after I shut off. What is really impressing me is his willpower right now if he’s read the post. I wonder how much of his crap was true and if his wife could figure out it was him if she read it (cuz everyone is married in India). I’d just delete it anyway but I’m happy he hasn’t chimed back in 🙂 –Ange
Angela,
As a white woman who’s lived in India & Nepal for 12 yrs I can tell you it never stops.
Doesn’t matter what your age, socioeconomic level, online, offline, whatever.
It’s really sad because you can’t even flirt a bit in India – tantrums & insults generally ensue when Indian males finally figure out you aren’t interested.
What a bummer to hear 🙁 (it’s been a while, hope all is well and wonderful with you!! xoxo) -angela
hahaa this is hilarious!!!omg- I am literally laughing, how can men be such dumb ass at times and i hate to admit it, bieng an indian- Indian men are so racist and judgmental …enjoying your blog posts!!
Not only women got harrased by some Indian and Pakistan men. Even men that have white fair skin or that have long hair gets harrased. I keep getting crazy love messages from Indian men and Pakistan men the moment I accept their facebook friend request.
Each time I say to myself that the next Indian guy or Pakistan guy would be ok and not a creep but in most cases it was shocking that almost all of them behave the same way the moment I accept the facebook friend request. I get ridiculous messages proclaiming of love and other crazy creepy messages just a few seconds after I accept the facebook friends request and the weird thing is that I am not even female but simply a guy with long hair and fair white skin.
I’m a guy (not Indian), and I must say that that email was as creepy as shit.
The best way to ask if something is appropriate or not, I believe, would to be pretend that the message in question is being sent to your mother, sister, daughter, or your anima (feminine side).
Right now, my anima is about to file for a restraining order.
I am indian guy, MBA from US and working here. I tried just a little woo a gorgeous german american girl and she went crazy about me. I am 5’2″ she is 6′, I am averge looking she is like supermodel. I am blakc haired she is blonde. I am MBA she is high school . She was 3 years older than me and was earning half of what I earn. Anyway, I had to back off because of some reason but she was head over heals in love with me. So, plz dont post this kind posts. Love does not see race, color etc. People get attracted to others for no reasons and for all reasons. Just take a chill pill and get a life. Bye.
and yes he acted like a jerk, but you are acting like a bigger jerk. He is jerk because he sent unjustifiable and insulting posts to you but you are bigger jerk because your post tagline is insulting to many (including me). What has race got to do with this?
You obviously don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman living in India (from my view, as a foreign woman). If you did, you’d realise that this is just tip of the iceberg to the horrible things I experienced by certain men while living in India. I also had wonderful experiences, which you can also read about. Life is not so black and white, Prakash, and you can’t tell me that I should be okay with the 2nd class treatment that many women face every single day in India.
I’m happy about your ego boosting experience, I had my share in India and there are awesome! Love is blind at times, but not everyone knows how to love like that for sure…
Angela
I am sorry for what happened to you. However your use of ethnicity here is demeaning to good Indian men and women. Not all Indians are prevy. You should have just talked about your experiences with men. I wonder why white people have this innate need to look down upon people of other races to feel superior.
Are women never harassed in Canada? Why do you have to look at everything from the lens of nationality or race?
I’ve never been to Canada so no idea on that…. BUT I was attacked and groped and harassed MORE in the 3 years I lived in India (during the time I wrote that post) so I feel very comfortable talking about how some Indian men treated me. My teenage daughter was also attacked and groped MANY times – for the first time in her life – during that time in India. Neither of us has ever experienced anything quite like it in ANY OTHER COUNTRY. It’s a pity, and I wish that we were never attacked or treated as we were (this stupid post of mine is nothing compared to the fear and violence we experienced offline), but it’s the truth. I’m sorry you don’t like to hear it 🙁 -Angela
Hi Angela,
I am an Indian woman living in Germany. I know exactly how you feel about the way Indian woman are treated. The messages you received are creepy and would scare me. I would not say all men are like that but there are quite a lot of them.I have taken some of them to India and was shocked at the staring and glares they got from people around, which made them uncomfortable in the beginning but then later on they got used to it. I feel sorry for your daughter and you about the grouping and i have faced the same and felt helpless feeling there was nothing i could do about it.
Nevertheless , there are many good people and I would say there are many Indian men out there who respect and treat woman as equals.
Cheers !
There are many great Indian men, Rosh. That is 100% true. However, there are still a lot of dinosaurs out there too who believe they are superior to women, who feel that it is okay to abuse and misuse women, and who do not think twice about us being a 2nd class citizen to them. I know that Indian women have it much worse than expats in the country on the daily basis but some of the ‘white lust’ fantasy issues we had to deal with while living in India truly were disgusting. Things I never dealt with in any other country in the world. And my daughter and I travelled solo (car trips where it was just she and I in a car with a map) in countries like Morocco and Tunisia and all around Europe and the USA and even Southeast Asia and we always felt safe there …. but India was something else altogether 🙁 -Angela